Madison & Northfield - Travelling to Aaron's Graduation

6/10/2010: V. hot week in Wilmington/Swarthmore. Kept adding to an email entitled “Commencement chaos”—with planes, lodging, etc for Beth, Mom, me, Steve Leon.

Tues stayed till maybe 8:30 there was the regular Tues phone call w/ Japan. Got home maybe 9, ate, packed, & wasn’t asleep till almost midnight so bleary.

6/8 -- S drove me to airport, flights all in order, arrived Madison a bit after 1 PM.

Got car (GPS not available, also, they wouldn’t accept S as a driver), couldn’t figure out how to open trunk till L showed me later, scurried over to campus to meet L for lunch at Indian buffet – he had mtg @ 2:30. Bought maps of Madison, WI, and MN, checked into hotel (Sheraton – free wifi but slow), spent an hour w/ help desk figuring out why the .bat file to map my drives wasn’t running.

Hurried to get Mom – flustered to be driving back & forth across a strange town where I didn’t know the roads (altho I should; it’s my 3^rd trip there). Mom was patiently waiting outside in the heat, her usual composed self.

Mom & I went to the hotel – by then almost 6. We went off & met Leon, who directed us around the campus a bit, and then went w/ us to a fancy restaurant near the Capitol. No sooner had we got in than the thunderstorms ahead of much cooler weather broke – it poured & poured, while we watched happily from inside. L talked abt his clueless roommate – e.g. that dishes won’t dry in the dishrack unless they’re concave-down. L hopes to get his prelim done in the course of the summer.

I had a glass of Prosecco, but nevertheless got L back safely to Chamberlin (where he had work to do) and us back to the hotel, and slept v. comfortably.

Next day (6/9), much cooler. Got up @ 6, walked (bike path by road, Madison is such a nice town) dropped Mom off at Chamberlin, where L gave her a tour of his labs, then she & I went to Whole Foods, bought way more food than two older ladies could possibly eat, and set out for Northfield.

The Madison map had print way too small for Mom to read, but it went better w/ the WI & MN maps (which had bought on prior trips but of course had forgotten to bring, hence the new copies). Mom, of course, not a navigator in the Maurer tradition.

We did the drive in maybe 5 hrs – somewhat chilly but otherwise delicious picnic lunch at the rest stop w/ all the yummy, nutritious food we’d bought @ whole foods. For once I didn’t panic on US 52 (due to the directions of a nice info desk lady in La Crosse), and we made our way to Faribault w/o incident (except for discussions of when/whether I’d get gas). Phoned S to stop in the National desk & see if he could get added as a driver on the rental car. When I did stop for gas in Faribault, couldn’t figure out how to open the gas tank; no lever or button. However, a nice young woman at the cash register showe me you could just push in the little door, and voila, it opens.

Hutchinson house is purplish & pin, & the windows on its little turret are boarded up, so it looks a tad threadbar as you approach, but otherwise v. nice.

FLASH (6/10): A has a girlfriend! I never knew. Her name is Edie (last name not disclosed) & she’s in media studies – v. slight, long brown hair & seems v nice. She joined us for lunch & will join us for dinner.

Continuing w/ 6/9, we had dinner @ Fermentations, which was occupied mostly by families of graduating Carls. I was SO glad to see A & S, and even tho S hadn’t succeeded in getting himself put on the rental car, he said He’d drive us home, so I could drink. Had salad & duck confit & 2 flights (sets of 3 small tasting glasses) of red wine.

A more than usually communicative. Abt his clueless roommate Austin, who couldn’t figure out how to use the toaster oven. Abt how nice the landlord was & how he (the landlord) liked to fix things; wked as a carpenter. Abt his phone interview w/ Acumen & how he thought the work would be interesting. Abot how his lease is ending early, so his landlord can do fixes, and he doesn’t know where he’s going (SF or Madison) or where he’ll stay until he does go. That graduating from college marks the end of being able to be irresponsible.

The waitress was 8.5 months preg.

In Northfield before Aaron's Graduation

6/10: we came back to Nfield the next day, hung out in Sayles “great space”. Cold grey day, but not rainy except for mist & sprinkles. Much back & forth because the dinner resv A had made (rest called Crave) wasn’t in the Mall of America, but in a more upscale mall nearby, but he hadn’t told me, so Beth & Leon, who were joining us there, didn’t know.

Once A got out of commencement practice, he came over to get us. Meanwhile, S had encountered two Carl parents who had been his students at Swat & were now litigators. They had twin sons, once a Swattie & the other a Carl (we’d met the Swattie at a dinner for J students earlier in the year) and one a carl.

On the way to lunch was when A disclosed Edee’s existence – we met her for lunch. She lives on a horse farm to the west of Minneapolis. Her father’s family has been Carls for generations. Her Mom’s a CIO for a childrens’hosp in Minneapolis. She breeds & trains horses in the summers. A gang of her friends helps her Mom do the work on the farm when she’s away @ school. Invited her to dinner @ Crave. V. nice, v. pretty & well spoken.

(6/10/11 cont’d) Mom, Edee & I started off on tour of campus guided by A, but hadn’t gone far when Ryan’s family, grilling bratwurst, hailed him to come help consume, so we settled there for a while. We toddled onward to the patio where the math/stat reception would be – Mom got to sit down.

S talked a good deal to math faculty, of course. It emerged that none knew A hadn’t gotten into math grad school anywhere.

We went to on to the history reception – Mom sat at a picnic table & read -- & talked to the prof who’d taught A’s freshman seminar – Black slaves, white masters – abt how he saw his role to get freshmen on the right track. Talked to the head of dept who’d had A’s comps course – I had to own I hadn’t read A’s comps paper, even tho he’d sent it to me.

Collected Mom – it was v. chilly day-- & took her back to B&B so she could lie down.

Read Little Bee, which Mom lent me – pretty harrowing.

Drove Mom back to Nfield, we all crammed into A’s car (so I could drink wine & not drive home – S not being a legal driver on our rental car) & hurried off to Crave, where L, Beth, Sofia, and Alex had arrived earlier. We ate vast amts of vg sushi & Alex took me by the hand to a nearby toy store, where I bought him a leggos set for 7-12 yr olds. Sofia v. animated & happy.

A alternately teased Edee abt MN & discussed w/ S where he could get control of his Vanguard accts. Alex consumed some noodles, & was tired, ditto Beth (who’d been called to the hosp till the wee hours of the AM), so she set off w/ him, leaving Leon to bring back Sofia, once she’d had dessert.

Aaron Graduation Ceremony

6/11/2011: Sat, we breakfasted early --brighter day but still cool -- & made our way to the Bald Spot on campus. Read in the program that A had graduated cum laude. V. pretty Telemann flute & bass sonata playing – I thought it was maybe Mark, but not, tho he was in the commencement band. L arrived – Beth & So stood on some rocks off to the side (Alex stayed w/ Gloria).

2 student speakers – one abt time – her 4 years of 10 week terms and how she’d have to learn to measure time differently. The other, a developing poet, abt seizing time and mindfulness. One honorary degree recipient was v. brief – seemed a little unsteady—the other (a joint music & classics appt) about the importance of playfulness.

They finished – they always do – and the graduates began receiving degrees. Once A had been called (not that I could see the stage that well) I drifted over & talked w/ B & Sofia (who was hungry & bored, eventually left f. Gloria’s) and then hung around the passageway formed by blue mesh, that the faculty would line up in, and the grads would pass through.

A came striding by, then walked around greeting friends – Edee was there & took a pic of us but I didn’t have the presence of mind to take his pic with her – was that Freudian? I pressed her to join us for dinner, but she demurred.

There was a picnic lunch available fr the college, but no tables to eat it at, and no containers to carry food into Sayles – A wanted to continue greeting friends. Eventually, we went to Kurry Kebab & ate too much Indian food. A talked abt the cutoffs for cum laude (distinction in comps & 3.25 GPA). Abt how he lent his car out less now that the alarm was armed (since the battery drained & was jump-started in NO) but he doesn’t want to replace the clicker-opener.

Drove S & Mom back to the B&B to rest & fell asleep myself, tho no good reason to be tired. A said he wanted to nap, too – graduating was draining. In fact, he spent the aft helping load two of his surplus sofas into a friend’s van. Drove back to Gloaria’s, but G not there (she’d gone to the library for movies to amuse Alex while we were @ dinner). Went for short walk w/ Beth, but then started worrying abt getting to dinner resv on time, so drove back to b&b, collected S& Mom (w/ some difficulty – S wanted more time to look over the route), scurried up to Minneapolis to Murray’s, a v. old-fashioned steak place, where we ate huge amts of food and A accumulated a stack of left-over boxes to take home. Sofia v. tired.

And that’s that: days of driving hither & thither & sitting around talking and eating too much & not exercising. A seemed so happy & at ease in this little world, these 4 years. He seems comfortable with a much wider range of humanity than in my day (40 yrs ago): Af-Ams, gay, lesbian, transgender.

Flight home a couple hours late – read the NYT & shuffled around. Home by maybe 8 PM, made scrambled eggs for dinner & collapsed into bed.